drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
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