she looked like the before picture.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
