I threw up into my coffee this morning.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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