did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize