I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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