wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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