Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
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