he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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