Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
