That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
