he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
