She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
