He had one of those small greek statue penises
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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