shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
