i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Randomize
