just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
