New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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