Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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