when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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