I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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