Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
