its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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