I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
