We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
