ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
