party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
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