I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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