Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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