don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
