I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
