I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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