remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize