She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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