hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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