I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize