found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
