He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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