no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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