A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
Randomize
