Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
