Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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