I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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