Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
