Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Randomize
