he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
