i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
