he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
