Tell her she can't have a vagina
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
