Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
