Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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