Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
