Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
