there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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