i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
