I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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