ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just google imaged poop.
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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