You made me cry and you don't even care
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
He did a backflip because drugs
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
