Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
A bitchslap is in order.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
