we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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