I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
