Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
