This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I enjoy the company of your penis
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
