She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Randomize
