i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
