Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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