My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
