Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
