Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Randomize
