kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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