bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Randomize
