We're facebook friends in real life
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
