Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
