Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
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