Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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