You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
