i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
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