I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
