Christians are straight up FREAKS
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Someone shit on the floor
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
