how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
i believe in u and ur pee
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize