I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
