Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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