Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
