I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
